by Jan Wolbrecht | Apr 23, 2022 | Uncategorized
March goes out like a Lion and April in like a Lamb…. as say they say.
When I think of April, I have good thoughts <3
April brings about beautiful landscapes. Flowering shrubs and trees, daffodils, lilies, tulips, a beautiful showcase of blooming Azaleas.
It seems the allure of springtime also creates an opportunity for bad things to happen.
April is sexual assault awareness month.
Perhaps it should be every month, but as many seniors are leaving the nest, it is a good time to focus on some simple tips to stay safe. Unfortunately, things can happen anywhere, to anyone, at anytime – day or night.
One in three females victims (of either) completed or attempted rape experienced it for the first time between the ages of 11 and 17. SOURCE
When looking or moving your child into school,
- take note of where the campus security stations
- Simple things like not walking alone, especially late at night.
- Know the schedule of buses or trams and when they stop running.
- If you’re studying late at night, make sure to communicate with a roommate or friend.
- Let others know where you are going to be and with whom.
If you’re the parent of a graduating student (or friend), a great graduation gift would be some measure of self defense (for example pepper spray). Layering self defense tools is also a good idea. Having a flashlight, whistle or personal alarm can also be helpful.
Almost one in four undergraduate women experienced sexual assault or misconduct at 33 of the nation’s major universities. SOURCE
I’m personally speaking from experience and it’s one of the events that lead me to start Incognito Wear IX. I experienced frustration and a sense of helplessness.
My daughter didn’t want to talk about the event. So, how do you help your child process though a horrific event. I was shocked to find out that the campus police don’t seem to be too interested in solving, taking on the case, or investigating the event.
Nor do the schools want the publicity of such an event or events.
My daughter wanted to forget the event and want it to “just go away”. I can understand how and why victims are so reluctant to speak out against their attacker.
One reason is the shame. Secondly, the embarrassment of the event and self blame. I believe the biggest reason is the fear of not being believed and having to relieve the trauma over and over.
I hope you or your child Never experiences an assault. It’s a difficult topic to speak about.
I believe getting professional help is critical; even as your child insist “they are fine” – They are NOT!
Emotional trauma should be processed in order to move through the event and on to good mental health.
The best solution for prevention, of course, is to become situational aware of your surroundings. Keep your head on a swivel. Make Eye contact and make mental notes of what you observed.
Again, having a flashlight, whistle, personal alarm, pepper spray, tactical pen, or (if campus carry or of proper age to carry) a firearm.
Be observant. Does it look normal? Would someone wear a winter coat in summer?
I invite you to share with your child the increase usage of date rape drugs, especially common at universities. For this reason, Never leave a beverage unattended.
Awareness of methods of attack are helpful, but what if…. this happens to you or someone you know?
I invite you to check out a few fictional novels that deal with this topic by an author who has experience and training in dealing / processing deep trauma for emotional health.
“Snatched but followed” by Frannie Watson and “Pursued but shielded
Additional helpful resources –
RAINN
Racheal’s Rest
by Jan Wolbrecht | Apr 27, 2019 | Uncategorized
NRA Annual meetings are happening, censorship of guns and conservative conversations on social platforms & on college campuses, “Red Flag” laws being passed and in some states, confiscation of firearms is actually happening in the Land of the FREE….
There’s so much of ignoring the FACTS and instead they just “repeat it till they believe it” going on in the news and with our millennial’s, I thought I’d share this conversation I came across… I wish to give them credit but don’t remember from where I found it but it’s a great perspective worthy of sharing.
To those who argue gun control here’s in interesting dialog to have –
A Vets unique perspective – Learn from my mistake – How talk about guns
“A couple years ago I was working security at a bar in northern Virginia. I overheard a table of college kids arguing about gun rights and gun control and it was getting far too emotional so I did what any sane combat veteran would do and attempted to exfiltrate. I must not have withdrawn as surreptitiously as I intended, because I was stopped in my tracks when a 5-foot-nothing brunette seemingly leapt in front of me and blurted out “excuse me, can you help us?”
I’m sure I must have looked irritated as I cycled through the possible quips and excuses, I considered available to me but being uncertain that she wasn’t some Senator’s daughter, I caved: “What’s up?”
She basically leads me to this table of 2 other females (probably both named Karen) and a very soft looking male.
Becky: “So, we were just talking about current events and, you know. So, you look like you’re probably in the military, right? Like the Army?”
(When you accuse someone of being in the military you probably don’t need to give an example)
Me: “Similar.. yea”
Becky: “Right. Okay. So, do you think civilians should be allowed to own guns?”
Me: “Most of us. Yes.”
Becky: (clearly not happy with my answer) “Okay, so, why do you think you need a gun?”
(At this point it’s almost 2am and I’ve just given up on patience. Hold my beer)
(With intentionally overt condescension): “Oh, honey, I don’t. I don’t need a gun.”
Becky stares at me blankly, so I continue, but with a more serious tone:
“I could follow you home, walk up your driveway, and beat you to death with the daily newspaper.
I could choke you to death with that purse.
I could take a credit card, break it in half, and cut your throat open with it.
With enough time and effort I could beat your boyfriend here with a rolled up pair of socks.
I could probably dream up six dozen other ways I could easily end your life if you gave me an hour or so.
If I wanted to, I could wrap my hand around that beer mug and kill all four of you before you could make it to the exit. The worst part is, in your utopian little fantasyland, there ain’t a thing any of you could do about it.
I don’t need a gun.
You need a gun.
You need a gun because of men like me.”
Call me a jerk, but if you want to keep your guns, these are the conversations we all need to start having.”
Sure, carrying a firearm is invaluable when you need it. Preventive measures are perhaps more important. After all, we want to prevent ever being victimized.
The right to bear arms is a right, as Americans, we all get to choose if that’s how we want to protect ourselves and loved ones. You’re feelings don’t decide for me and my family. Its a dangerous place. Take the measures to be safe. Be aware that there are bad guys who want to cause harm to others.
We’ve designed casual clothing that minimizes printing of a concealed firearm, gives you discreet access to it and fits whatever firearm you want to carry!
Check out our dresses and tops for Mother’s Day! And take Mom to the range 🙂
